A Sip of Red Wine, a Bumble Bee Bite & Bingo
Norman Jewison
Had I not been honored by America Cinematique, I might never have remembered this darling story I am now in the process of typing. At a book signing event, which took place before a screening of“The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming,” I had a question an answer session. One of the questions asked was about the film we had just screened.
“The Russians Are Coming” holds a very special place in my heart, as it came about at a time when I was nearing the end of my rewarding five year stint as the creator-producer of“The Dick Van Dyke Show.”
There were still four more episodes to mount when I received a call from Norman Jewison, a film director who wanted to discuss something he thought would interest me.
The following day, while seated in my living room, Norman told me of a wonderful script written by Bill Rose and the note Bill had sent about the casting of this film it read, “If there is a God, Carl Reiner will play the part of Rozanov, a Russian sailor.”
I was flattered and had not the character been described as a Russian, I might have jumped at it, but instead I explained to Norman Jewison that I had no interest in playing another Russian accented character. I had done fake double-talking Russian with Sid Caesar on “Your Show Of Shows” and just last week I played a Russian artist on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” I loved doing it. The episode, entitled “October Eve” and I played a Russian artist, Serge Carpenter who painted a nude portrait ofLaura Petrie (Mary Tyler Moore) that she intended as a birthday gift for her husband. When posing, she wore her dance leotards, but the artist’s creative mind envisioned Laura nude and that’s how he painted her. (Great show–I recommend you find it and watch it.)
Carl Reiner & Mary Tyler Moore
Norman accepted my reason and left, but returned the following day to offer me another role, a role I could not refuse–the male lead opposite Eva Marie Saint! Yes, The Eva Marie Saint, who, had co-starred with The Marlon Brando and The Cary Grant would now have me as her leading man!
Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint (Left), Eva Marie Saint & Marlon Brando (Right)
Which brings me back to the American Cimemateque event and the memory that was evoked by a question I was asked about “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming,” the only picture in which I was given star billing.
Eva Marie Saint & Carl Reiner
The woman wanted to know if there was any special memory I had about the shooting of that film, and I recalled something that had nothing to do with the making of the film. My memory was about an outdoor lunch I had while on location in Mendacino California, and it happened while seated at a long, wooden table.
Alan Arkin
While chatting with Alan Arkin, who, by the way won an Academy Award for playing Rozanov, I happened to glance at Eva just as she was about to take a sip of wine from a paper cup. I shouted, “Eva, don’t, there is a bee on the rim!” but Eva did and the bee did what bees do!
She let out a howl, and to calm her while I examined her lower lip, I joked, “You know, for snake bites, someone must immediately suck out the venom– it should also work for bee bites. I’ll do that if you like.”
I saw that the bee had left his stinger in her lower lip, and quickly plucked it out. There was no swelling and luckily no after effects.
I told the woman who had asked the question about “The Russians Are Coming” that the little incident I described, I had once used as a very satisfying denouement to an episode I had written for “Good Heavens,” a short lived 1976 series which I had produced and hired myself to play the starring role.
In the series, I played an Angel who rewards an individual for having done an unsolicited good deed. I would grant the good Samaritan one wish and when that wish was fulfilled I would disappear and the do-gooder would have no memory of ever having met an Angel.
I recall but a few of the stories from “Good Heavens,” but I do remember the one in which my son Rob played the ‘good soul’ whose wish was to become a baseball player–and I, his angelic father, had the pleasure of granting him his wish.
The pleasant memory that nudged itself into my head when asked about “The Russians Are Coming” was one that involved the thirteenth and final episode of“Good Heavens.”
It starred Loretta Swit and Clu Gulager who played lovers that were destined to be mated but their predilection for quarreling threatened to end their romance.
Clu Gugaler & Loretta Swit
In the last scene, they are in their trailer about to embark on a trip, when they become involved in a heated argument. I had written the script but had not found a way to stop them from arguing, until Eva Marie Sainte’s bumble bee popped into my head.
I shouted to Clu and Loretta the idea I had. They were to continue with their dialogue but beaware that a bee entered their trailer-- and I would supply the sound of a buzzing bee.
In a long shot, while they were arguing and swatting at the buzzing interloper, Loretta acted as if the bee had stung her lower lip. After Clu removed the stinger, I had him say to Loretta the line I said to Eva Marie, “You know, for poisonous snake bites, someone must immediately suck out the venom, it should also work for bee bites. “I’ll do that if you like.”
We then had a closeup of Loretta’s fingers holding out her lower lip for Clu to suck, which he does in earnest. After a proper amount of suck time, the two begin feeling amorous–glance into each other’s eyes, then slowly rotate their lips into a position where their tongues can properly French kiss--- as we went in for a tight close up.